Silver Lining
by Moshi-Mo
Summary: Kagome realizes that she's not able to overcome her weakness...will she finally leave for good? I'm not good at explanations, just R&R please! One-ShotSongFic to "Everytime"


My first one-shot/song-fic!!!! THE HORROR!!!! It's starting already...o_O  
  
Sorry if it seems a bit angsty...I'm just in "one of those moods"...anyways, please give me you opinions on it!  
  
**Disclaimer: I do not own InuYasha *sobs* or the song "Everytime"...don't sue me! But soon I will own InuYasha! Mwuahhahahhah!!!!! *runs away*  
  
Oh btw, When the lyrics start coming in, if you have the song I STRONGLY recommend you put it on repeat!!! It might make you cry, (it did for me *boohoo*), but it will be worth it! ^_^  
  
Key:  
  
*word* emphasis  
  
'word' and bars of ********** Flashback  
  
"word" speaking  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Silver Lining  
  
The evening sun impaired her vision. She ran through the trees to an unknown destination. Anywhere, it didn't matter, as long as she was away. Her bangs covered her eyes as branches scratched her arms and legs, leaving red scars, drops of blood leaking out like parts of her heart. Her hand gripped the strap of her bag absently, knuckles turning white.  
  
Drops of water slid down her cheeks and her chin, falling to the ground in crystal lights. Emerging to the clearing, she ran towards the middle where the enchanted well lay. She stopped a few feet from the well, her head down. Her body filled with inexplicable rage and anguish, she grasped the strap in both hands as she turned in a circle and flung the bag into the well with a cry of pain and sorrow. The bag disappeared beyond the edges of the well, traveling back to her time. She continued to cry out to the evening sun, finally ending as her shoulders began to shake uncontrollably, her sobs resouding through the small clearing.  
  
Her hands covered her face as she wept, her legs barely able to support her. Everytime. Every single time. She was such a damned fool. But she always came back.  
  
She had seen them again, but it had come to no surprise. She had not been aware of how much it would hurt. She had become better at blocking out her emotions, hiding them so she could always put others first, the ones she cared and loved for first. But when she saw them again, something inside her pounded painfully against her chest. Something she couldn't control, she couldn't hide. She fled. She couldn't pretend nothing mattered anymore. Everytime she thought about it, saw it, and small part of her was stolen. Everything pent up inside her came out, as it needed to. The more she kept it up, the more she kept it hidden, the more it screamed to come out, to be released.  
  
Every day, her heart became a bit more empty, she became a bit more hollow inside. So close, yet so far out of her reach. Wanting the impossible, hoping, praying that somehow it could be. If she could never have him, why had she been destined to meet him? The fates tortured her continously, like she was their toy, their amusement. She continued to cry, barely moving, afraid that if she did she would die from the pain, from the realization. Her heart broken beyond the point of mending, maybe unable to love again.  
  
Dark clouds rolled in from the west, almost entirely blocking out the sun's dimming rays. She slowly subsided her tears, as she wiped her eyes dry with the back of her hand. Her head didn't raise, but her mind raced dangerously fast.  
  
Everywhere she went, everyone saw the reflection. The face infront of the mirror, not noticing the soul underneath. She was always being compared to her, always expected to live up to her. People would always praise her, and cry that she was there to protect them, and it would feel so...wrong. The worst was that she was never good enough. He always compared her to the dead miko, his dead love. That struck her to her very essence. It hit something deep down that she never knew existed, and it hurt. Slowly, everytime it happened, the thing inside her grew steadily, filled with anger, hate, despair, and sadness.  
  
She was never good enough. She couldn't compete with her. She was alone, and no matter how hard she tried to deny it, to tell herself that she was wrong, the voice in her head always told her the negative. Why, *why* couldn't people see her for who she was. Look beyond the appearance, and see her qualities, her emotions, just see that she was herself. That she was Kagome.  
  
~~~~  
  
Come notice me, and take my hand  
  
So why are we strangers when  
  
Our love is strong, why carry on without me?  
  
~~~~  
  
The dark clouds rolled in completely, blocking out the sun's rays of hope. Darkness consumed the skies, and her heart and mind at the same time. They moaned and rumbled in protest, before releasing their water to the earth below. A few drops landed on Kagome's hands and shoulders, before more hit her head. A steady rain began, and she slowly descended onto her knees, her hands holding her up in her lap. The rain only reflected what she felt inside.  
  
Darkness. No hope. The emotions that had been coursing through her so shortly before were now dull and numb. A disturbing emptiness filled her veins. She had to learn to live without him. Why was it so hard to just forget, to just give up her love and move on? If she could learn how to shut out her emotions better, maybe she could move on. If she could ignore him, distance herself from him whenever he did something to make her heart flutter or hopes raise...maybe she could move on. She had to try.  
  
~~~~  
  
Everytime I try to fly, I fall without my wings  
  
I feel so small...I guess I need you baby.  
  
And everytime I see you in my dreams, I see your face  
  
It's haunting me.  
  
I guess I need you baby.  
  
~~~~  
  
Memories began to rise from the depths. Memories of sad times, happy times, trying times...of all times of the past. She tried to suppress them, but the more she tried, the more they came. Smiles, tears, frowns and scars...all came to her vision. She tried to blink them away, tried to shut them out as she squeezed her eyes shut. Tears began to well up, and her hand balled into a fist in her lap.  
  
*****  
  
She had come back after being shut out from the well. She had sensed the jewel nearby, and after finding that it led her back to the past, she had realized that he had been injured. She had ran to him and embraced him, telling him how much she had worried. He had yelled at her, asked why she had come back.  
  
'I couldn't stand it, I had to see you again!' she had said. She remembered his face as she finished, it was filled with confusion and doubt. She hadn't believed that he thought she was being honest.  
  
Later, she had thought it best to leave, considering that he had been thinking about Kikyo. Right before she had jumped in he arrived. He had started talking, stalling her departure, his face filled with an emotion she couldn't classify.  
  
'When I saw your face...I felt inspired...and then I realized...I actually did want you near me.'  
  
Later he had gone and kissed Kikyo. That had been the first time.  
  
*****  
  
She mentally kicked herself for her own stupidity. The rain's tempo steadily increased, like a depressing ballad to her thoughts. The warm summer shower drenched her clothes and hair, the material sticking to her skin. Her eyes squeezed shut through other memories. Memories when he smiled at her, as he so rarely did. When he did something, or said something that made her believe, rose her hopes just enough that she would stay around that maybe he actually did care. Tears began to shine through her thick lashes as they mingled with the summer's-night rain, like both her and the heavens were crying for her.  
  
~~~~  
  
I make believe, that you are here  
  
It's the only way, I see clear.  
  
What have I done...  
  
You seem to move on easy.  
  
~~~~  
  
Unknown to her, a figure emerged from the forest, still fairly dry from the shelter of the trees. She slumped over, her hands leaving her lap in favor of the muddy ground. Her shoulders hunched, and her back curved as she weakly tried to support her suffering body. Tears once again slid down her face and hit the ground below her. Her hair clinged to her back, and her bangs stuck to the side of her face, the front ones dangling limply a few centimetres from her forward. Why couldn't she do it? Why was it just so *hard*...  
  
~~~~  
  
Everytime I try to fly, I fall without my wings  
  
I feel so small...I guess I need you, baby.  
  
And everytime I see you in my dreams I see your face,  
  
It's haunting me.  
  
I guess I need you baby.  
  
~~~~  
  
He stood at the edge of the clearing. The rain began to hit him more forcefully now, as he watched with a sickening feeling the girl across from him. Is that what he had done to her? It made him want to punch himself. He felt like a child that had been kicked, and he had been the one doing the kicking. The girl infront of him had been reduced to a bundle of emotions, barely able to support herself. Her guard let down, he watched the tears trail down her face.  
  
--  
  
Kagome looked up to the trees. She saw him standing there, watching her. The look on his face sickened her. Was that...pity? A new angered coursed through her veins. He was so two-faced. Her hands curled into fists, as they scraped the muddy ground with them. She slowly straightened, and began to stand. Her head remained down, and as she stood fully, she slowly began to raise it. The effects he had on her..  
  
--  
  
He watched as she began to stand. He felt his nose sting as tears pushed against the back of his eyes. He barely managed to supress them, as he took a shaky step towards her. Then another, as he began to raise a hand to her. She stepped back slightly, her had swaying downwards. A few more steps and she would be at the well. His heart shattered at her state. Her hair was dirty and limp, her clothes stained and tattered. Scratches littered her body, and she shook slightly.  
  
~~~~  
  
I may have made it rain.  
  
Please forgive me.  
  
My weakness caused you pain.  
  
And this song's my sorry.  
  
~~~~  
  
He took another hesitant step towards her, but she spoke, her voice cracked and forced.  
  
"I can't do it...I can't do it anymore," she said shakily, as her eyes raised to meet his. The warm brown that used to sparkle and shine with light and grace, now dull and empty like her emotions and soul.  
  
"Kagome, I-"  
  
"Don't talk to me!" she shouted, "Don't...don't act like you care anymore..." more tears trailed down her face. "I can't stand to be deceived anymore...to think that I'm wanted when I'm really not."  
  
His throat constricted, and he found it hard to swallow. If only she knew.  
  
"Stop talking nonsense, of course you're wanted here. You can't...you can't leave...what would I do?"  
  
She became enraged. Her eyes flashed with fury, anger surging through her like a deadly fuel.  
  
"What would you do? WHAT WOULD YOU DO?!" she was practically yelling at him, "I'm sick of this all! I'm sick of watching you run away, I'm sick of praying that maybe my dreams and hopes would come true one day, only to have them shot down like a little girl's fantasies. I'm sick of it all! And you know what I'm sick of the most?"  
  
He could only stand speechless as she emptied everything out onto him. What hurt the most was that he knew that he caused it.  
  
"I'm sick of returning. I'm sick of coming back and thinking 'maybe today will be better' because something inside me still tells me that there's a glimmer of hope. I'm sick of watching you with her. You belong with her, as she does you. I should have listened to myself a long time ago, when that voice in my head told me that there's no room for me inside your heart. I see now that it was true." Her head lowered again, and she slowly began to turn towards the well.  
  
"Kagome!" she stopped in mid-turn. Her face slowly turned to him, tear trails evident on her face. He choked. "You can't! I can't do anything without you, I need you with me...why don't you understand?" He trailed off, hoping she would catch on to what he was trying to say.  
  
"I'm not sure why I don't understand. Maybe I'm too stupid to see the light, or maybe I'm blinded by the fact that my world is just so perfect," she shot back sarcastically, "That's just so typical, InuYasha. And I'm supposed to run back to you again because that makes everything better. Nothing, *nothing* changes the fact that the only reason people value me is because I look like Kikyo. Even you yourself have degraded me, have compared me to her. Do you know how much it hurts? You have no idea," she started as she slowly began to walk towards him, her anger igniting inside her like a deadly flame.  
  
She stopped a few feet away from him.  
  
"And then, you have the *gall* to get jealous about Koga and Hojo. You forbid me to see them like you own me. You treat me like the piece of dirt you walk on each day, like an insignificant bug under you foot. You're just so...so...hypocritical that it makes me want to throw up. I can't stand you anymore. You keep me on a leash and ignore my pain, you *cause* my pain. You can go with your Kikyo. 'I can't do anything without you' my ass. If you really appreciated me then you would've shown something."  
  
He stood as Kagome spewed at him. Everything she said was so painfully true. His own frustration and despair began to build up inside him, as he flattened his ears against his head and closed his eyes. He tried to block it out, block out the truth and guilt, but it rang loud and clear through Kagome's voice.  
  
"You take this," she said as she ripped the shards of Shikon of her necklace and placed them into his hand, "and do what you want with it. Shove it for all I care," she spat. "I don't know if I should remove this, if it will make you remember everything you've done. I hope you wallow in shame, but you probably won't. You'll be too busy running off to your precious Kikyo to care about it. I mean, I'm the only thing to keep you from going whenever you want right?" she bit out, as she grabbed the rosary around his neck, and none too gently yanked it over her head. She grasped the beads in her fist, her only memory of him.  
  
~~~~  
  
At night I pray  
  
That soon your face,  
  
Will fade away.  
  
~~~~  
  
She made to turn and stride back to the well for the last time, when a hand shot out and grabbed her arm. It turned her around violently, and her soaked skirt twirled heavily, her hair flying a bit. Surprise was in her eyes, as she came face to face with a very sad looking hanyou.  
  
"I don't want it," he said, barely above a whisper, his eyes dead serious. He carefully took her hand in his, and placed the jewel shards in it, before taking his other hand and closing hers on top of the shards, resting his own above.  
  
Kagome barely breathed. She had been so angry a moment ago, ready to leave forever, but now she was having second thoughts. He just had to make it hard for her.  
  
"What do you mean you don't want it?" she barely made out, "It's what you've always wanted, it's the reason all of us were here."  
  
"It doesn't matter anymore. It hasn't for awhile now," he stated quietly, his head lowering a bit, his limp bangs covering his eyes, "It was just an excuse to keep...everyone...here..."  
  
Kagome inwardly gasped. A part of her told her, screamed at her to leave now while she could. But another part, a voice full of hope told her to hear him out. She stood, indecisive, as she waited for him to continue.  
  
"I don't want to be a full demon anymore. Everytime I transform...I feel so...empty. The power that I had imagined, was nothing like what I experienced everytime I changed." Kagome's heart thumped painfully in her chest. She inwardly cursed it, willing it to slow down, "The jewel was the only thing that kept me bound to you."  
  
Kagome's eyes widened a bit in the rain. Drops of water hit them both, and she blinked.  
  
"Without it, I wouldn't be able to go to your time, you wouldn't be able to come back. It was what let me come to you. It didn't matter that we had to collect the shards, if not only to keep Naraku from getting them. When we completed the jewel, if we did, there would be nothing to keep you from leaving me...and...it scared me."  
  
His hands squeezed the hand in which Kagome held the shards. His head raised so that his eyes were level with hers. His amber ones boring into her own warm, brown ones. His eyes pierced her soul and she slowly began to feel her anger fading, her barriers and walls cracking and crumbling to the ground.  
  
~~~~  
  
Everytime I try to fly, I fall without my wings  
  
I feel so small...I guess I need you, baby.  
  
~~~~  
  
"I want to be with you Kagome," he simply stated. Kagome began to open her mouth to protest, but a hand shot up, delicately placing a clawed finger on her lips. Kagome drew in air sharply, it was like he had kissed her. "I don't want to be with any other. The reason I went to Kikyo today was to tell her that I couldn't do it anymore. My heart has been torn for too long. I realized today, that the Kikyo I loved is not the Kikyo I know now. My heart belongs to someone else, it has for awhile now."  
  
Kagome's heart beat faster, and her stomach did flip-flops. She began to blink more rapidly, as the ran began to gradually fall slower. Tears were held back by a single, weak barrier.  
  
"Kagome...if you left...I don't know what I would do. Every day would be empty," He raised a shaky hand to her face, and slowly placed it on her cheek. Kagome blinked rapidly to hold back tears, as she swallowed painfully, "You're the reason I get up in the morning. You're the reason that I go on each day, you're my hope, the light that guides me through the dark."  
  
Kagome couldn't fight it anymore. They small barrier holding back tears broke, and a glistening drop raced down her face. Her mouth quivered, barely noticeably. He took his thumb and wiped the tear away. The rain had slowed considerably, and was barely a light shower now. The clouds began to disperse a bit, revealing a bright moon.  
  
"Kagome...you have my heart in your hands. You've had it for awhile now." He placed both hands back on the one with the shards glistening inside. Another tear fell down and rolled off Kagome's chin, landing with a small splash on their joined hands. "I love you, Kagome," he said, in the silent night.  
  
~~~~  
  
And everytime I see you in my dreams, I see your face  
  
You're haunting me  
  
I guess I need you, baby.  
  
~~~~  
  
"I...I..." Kagome choked on her words. She couldn't say it, every part of her screamed to say it, but her voice wouldn't work. So she launched herself in his arms. He wrapped his arms around her and pressed her tightly to him, as she all but squeezed the life out of him. She sobbed silently, her tears landing on the back of his haori. He gently rubbed her back.  
  
She let go to face him. "You know I love you InuYasha. I always have." She placed her hands on either side of his face.  
  
The light of the moon shone on them as the dark clouds lifted entirely, the stars twinkling down on them. He took her hands in his own, and lifted them from his face, to rest on his chest, above his heart. He wrapped his arms around her waist, and leaned in to capture her lips.  
  
The moment they touched, currents of pleasure shot through Kagome's body like lightning. They kissed chastely at first, tiny butterfly kisses, until InuYasha tilted his head to deepen the kiss. Kagome responded, pressing her own lips against his. They kissed, until they broke for air. Kagome rested her forehead against his.  
  
"You have no idea," she breathed, "How long I've waited to hear you say that. I was about to leave today, forever. I'm so glad I changed my mind."  
  
InuYasha rubbed her arms. "I'm so sorry, Kagome...for every time I hurt you."  
  
"That doesn't matter anymore, it's all in the past. You shouldn't dwell on it, only look to the future."  
  
"I don't deserve you...you're always forgiving me, no matter how badly I hurt you," he admitted, ashamedly.  
  
Kagome placed a delicate finger under his chin and brought his eyes back up to hers. She gently brushed stray bangs out of the way, and placed her hand on his cheek, rubbing it gently with her thumb. How she loved him.  
  
"Love makes people do crazy things," she said as she smiled weakly, but truthfully at him.  
  
~~~~  
  
I guess I need you, baby.  
  
After all...  
  
After all...  
  
~~~~  
  
He smiled back at her, and her heart swelled. The moon's elegant rays shone down upon them, as he caught her lips in a passionate kiss. His hand rested on the square of her back, the other caught her chin. She placed both of her hands on his face, as they became lost in eachother. The stars above twinkled beautifully upon the couple below, as the moon shone down upon them, enveloping them in the graceful light. The earth was silent, as the two in love joined under the starry night's sky.  
  
~~~~  
  
AHH!! Pointless fluff again!! XD  
  
Well...that was my first one-shot/song-fic. Please let me know what you think! I listened to that song the whole time O_O...can you believe it? I love it so much! Oh well...  
  
I'm glad this is finally done! And in only *grabs watch*...three and a half hours! :\  
  
Ahh well...anyways, please R&R and let me know what you think!! 


End file.
